***SCROOGE AND MARLEY***

i LOVE christmas. ted mayhem not so much. magic, not so much. beat stevie, forget it. he’s too busy watching arsenal, rubbing on his ganesh figurine. i am surrounded by perpetual depressives. are my management having a christmas party? neine. they’ll be heading off to play golf in palm springs for sure. have i already had 3 christmas dinners this year? yes. what is the only remaining remnant from our record label? THE CHRISTMAS PARTY. the label was cremated many years ago and the artists long since went on to massive success but we at the beats still hold our christmas bowling afternoon. for the record, i hold the 2008 title. its etched on the trophy in eduard muybridge’s garage. christmas is a time to let down your barriers and allow in wham. it’s a time to embrace people and computer games you would spend all year avoiding. i spend all my year writing barz and listening to snare drums i just get a bit fatigued you know? so on discovering the beauty of the diminished sharp IV chord as a lift from the standard 4 chord usage, me and rob marley decided it was time to load up the JV1080 and find the church bells patch.

i know that all of you want to love christmas but possibly at some point someone scuppered your dreams. and you’re hurting. i can see it in you. so you cut yourself off as a defence mechanism. i’ve seen it time and time again. and you blame consumerism. whether or not reciprocal altruism is a display of real love in humans or simply a way to survive in this darwinian world of gordon gekkodom i don’t know but for 1 month we can all try to suspend our disbelief. we can all throw down our AK’s and wrap our arms around the whole world in a warm embrace

SCROOGE AND MARLEY – I DON’T WANT IT TO BE ME

all normal cynicism will be resumed after this outburst of positivity