I hate the Beatles
so the beatles are coming to itunes
wow. so what? fuck off.
i mean really who gives a shit about a decades old band who were shit in the first place with their kindergarten rhymes.
is this how we’re going to venerate Take That in the future? a crinkly old boy band that everyone deifies with the healing cream of sentimentalism, even as it descends into an orgy of commercialism.
If i don’t get arrested straight away i am going to shoot David Cameron in the face
You are going to have to be very careful what you say from now on, as it has just been proven that it is possible to be arrested for saying something online, even if it was meant as a joke.
This is the clearest example that some people just don’t get it. They simply do not understand the internet or it seems, have simply no common sense. I am absolutely shocked in this day and age that this can be happening.
This could be the last blog from me…
***no rich you knee***
we are coming to blow your campus sky high. does that qualify as ‘menacing’? i’ve said i was going to destroy many venues in the past. i hope no one ever thought i would really be planting explosives in their local carling/o2 academy. i actually meant that we would come and jump around on the stage and try to get the punters to do the same thing while I admire whatever classically themed plaster carved sculpture that has adorned the wall since the building was erected by the edwardian or victorians in the music hall tradition. what is it with those things? those eagles, gargoyles or crests that perch themselves up above the lighting and the PA, completely at odds with the math rock band on stage and sweaty facebookers that writhe around below in the darkness for only an hour every evening before the lights come on and reveal just how shabby the building has become since the days when gin soaked factory workers used to come and throw dead cats at comedians.
i am going to the gym every day this week because on thursday they are taking my photo. we are heading to a university campus to take the photos that will become my album sleeve. the slightly outdated paper booklet that will likely arrive to you as a PDF file attached to your iTunes purchase. the culmination of the exercise will see us decide upon the ‘packshot’ which is the front cover of the album. even though traditionally the cover of the album is CD sized (or maybe 12 inches if you want to get really retro) we have to consider that most of it’s time will be spent experienced in thumbnail size in the review section of magazines and as part of tiny co-op advertisements on HMV billboards. so we will be taking a photo of a large piece of 100ft architecture and imagining what sort of silhouette and tone it exudes when represented at an inch in height. and that is art at it’s outer edge. the creative compromise no different to the rennaisance commissions restricted by the genre of fresco on plaster. (notice how frescoes never look as lifelike as oil works: it’s because they couldn’t use the camera obscura to trace onto plaster- the technique goes right back to the late 1400′s)
but for now I drink powdered protein and briskly walk my 7 miles
***breakbat barz***
***a brand new castle***
we at beat stevie are always talking about branching out. considering all the myriad manifold schemes that get dreamt up as a result of playing too much call of duty mixed with kratom tea (surely the best legal high currently legal), it shocks me that we’ve remained unbudged from essentially urban beat poetry for close to ten years. i once wanted to start my own award. like a lower category nobel peace prize fused with the credibility that the mercury music prize once held. my manager said it would be 5-10 years before we saw real commercial ressonance. we also nearly launched our own tv channel but at the time sky needed £1.5 million over the year and it seemed like funding could only come from premium rate phone sex lines which i for one think are only on a downward slope of consumer traction
you can keep going on down that line and where you begin at simple artistic expression, you end with brand related advertising eating and controlling your focus like a locust. i like the idea of making money but somehow the desire to follow the idea rules out making mad scrilla.
but last night in my sleep i had a dream that i think felt important. my subconsious right brain of a mind concocted the zenith of all branching out and showed me just where all this is leading if i choose to follow it. the vanishing point of my idea virus. i dreamt that me, mayhem, magic and stevie robbed a bank. it was highly stressful, underplanned and ultimately we ended up running around a german music festival on an improvised but likely escape path (who would ever suspect we had done anything wrong, running around a german music festival, as we anxiously evaded 10-15 years in the clink?)
as I try to think what this all means, my management whom became immensely stressed trying to find a suitable venue for us to perform in newcastle have confirmed for us a show in the toon to do toons in. i cant wait, the vibe is strong my brothers from other mothers and sisters from other misters.
i hope i will be received not merely as musician but also master-hand capitalist
how to rekindle your sex life
i have often espoused the fact that porn is the one thing that drives technology forward
Perhaps this is why the take up for the otherwise amazing Kindle has been fairly slow. There is a parsimonious amount of porn on there and what there is, is pretty lame, of the line drawn variety that the weirdo kids at school used to do in the back of their maths books.
In one of those strange impossible to foretell twists there is one area of porn however, in which the Kindle is absolutely smashing it, and this is one that i am not so familiar with. Erotic literature for women.
The 10 best selling current ebooks are all erotic fiction!! That’s crazy. There isn’t even one sexy book for women in the whole top 100 of paperbacks.
Of course this all makes sense, buying dirty books on the kindle means you don’t have to suffer the ignominity of handing over cash in smiths for tatty smut, nor do you have to reveal your choice of literature on the tube in the morning.
So this means that ebook development is being pushed forward steadily by its huge fan base of women with wandering fingers. Now you know why it’s so easy to turn pages on the Kindle using only one hand.
***re: newcastle and the girl that asked about time travel***
