I predict disquiet
I’m not saying go and roll over a car and set light to it, but for fucks sake go right now and write someone a very angry email.
In France right now there’s youths burning cars and making a right mess of their streets because their government had the audacity to suggest that they shouldn’t be granted pensions till they are 62, not 60 as is currently the case. The French they love a riot, and a strike, and a revolution. Anything in fact that could be considered sticking two fingers up at their bourgeoisie oppressors. It’s a bit different of course when their oppressors come from another country, they tend to roll over a bit quicker then but godamn when it comes to their own bosses they don’t take any shit. I love that about them. It’s not so great when you’re trying to get a flight somewhere and all the baggage handlers have walked out cos they’re backs hurt but it’s bloody impressive when you’re looking at it from the comfort of your own couch.
I mean what is it with the Brits? We are fucking rubbish at standing up for ourselves, we’re too polite. Bring us our food tepid and wrong and we sit there and take it and eat our humble pie cold. Stand on our feet and we say sorry. The last decent riot we had was the poll tax ones, they were pretty good, but the government just changed the name and now we all pay council tax like a right bunch of mugs. We cow tow to our bosses, feel bad when we have to call in sick with aids, the French. they work half an hour late they get a day off.
What is it that makes us like this? We’re just not fucking angry enough.
You know who’s rebelling in France about the pension reforms?! The students! Amazing, they’re not gonna be retired for fucking ages but they’re still willing to up arms and storm the bastille on behalf of their folks. Students over here can’t be arsed to mumble a protest as their loans go up to a million percent and universities are allowed to charge whatever the hell they like.
Even on the telly today it’s easier to see images of glamorous french revolutionaries throwing molotovs down the street than it is to see our own besuited oppressors who are currently dismantling the arts industry in this country.
If you don’t know what’s happening today it’s no surprise it doesn’t make very attractive telly but basically our elected (elected? i’m not aware anyone voted for a Con-Dem coalition ) government is slashing 83 billion pounds from our public budgets in spending cuts.
This will result in the loss of 490,000 jobs in the public sector by 2015 and will likely herald a period of industrial unrest in the U.K. The arts council is getting it’s budgets slashed by 30%, that’s 350million quid to be cut in the next 4 years, and the british film industry cut by 15%.
Now this might seem really boring and shit but this affects you. I assume you’re here cos you like British music and stuff. If you like art and culture, films and music, British tv and want to support young talent in this country then this affects you. I’m not just talking about the high brow stuff, but the stuff you and me like, the stuff we all want to see and hear in the future. Today is a dark day indeed for British culture. Go set a a car alight and make it a little bit brighter.
***I loved my phone***
To contradict the song that I wrote once, I ditched the phone. I switched it off one day around 365 days ago and I haven’t turned it on since. At first it seemed like it wasn’t going to last very long but in the same way I became vegetarian one Christmas for no good reason and remained that way for 7 years, I just did it and it seemed to go on and on until that’s just what I did . I was talking to rob about it in the pub last night. He was saying he can’t understand not eating meat. But you just get used to it. It’s like not drinking. it’s weird at first but it becomes just what you do. I had been vegetarian for 7 years until I decided i wanted a ham sandwich and a big mac around the age of 15. I quit drinking for over a year once. I even quit food for 11 days while living in new York writing ‘the hardest way to make an easy living’ and even that wasn’t that hard. I had these really weird lucid dreams though. I would be sat there in a cafe drinking peppermint tea (I allowed myself that comfort) and I would almost nod off while staring at the table and this BIG FLASHING BIG MAC image would light up my whole brain. Apart from those daytime vivid hallucinations from my unconscious it was not that weird abstaining from food. Back to the phone thing, I do tend to ask people if i can use their phone a bit which feels quite hypocritical but its not that often. It’s just really chilled. No buzzing, vibrating or bleeping. and no checking the stream for useless friends and family noise. i do like the look of those new blackberry torch’s though. i always missed having keys on the iPhone…
I literally don’t understand the rules any more
I am Will, Simon, Jay and Neil.
When something you love comes to an end you can’t fail to be disappointed, but when it ends in a fitting way you can only feel pleased that it ended on the right note. The Inbetweeners has been the funniest, truest, most ball breakingly cringeworthy thing on TV. Last night was a fitting finale as the hawaii cinquecento rolled into a lake and the four brothers in sweaty palms strode off to a cacophony of mum jokes. It reminded me of the final scene of Blackadder.
Myself and Mike have a real hatred for films, TV and lyrics that try to paint a picture of life, particularly the sort of humdrum everyday existence that most of us lead, as a glamorous exciting thing full of larger than life characters and escapades. It’s just not real. That doesn’t mean there can’t be beauty or humour or magic in all of our everyday experiences. You just have to look in places others fear to tread.
The Inbetweeners made it ok to be the wise cracking, insecure, yet arrogantly naive little shit that i once was and probably still am. It was the first time that i have seen myself on TV. For once i could laugh at myself, at the trials and tribulations that every boy goes through. They say that we laugh at terrible things because we are glad they haven’t happened to us, but with the Inbetweeners i laughed because it had.
*** comfortable ***
going underground
For two whole months the Chilean Miners have been underground. For seventeen days they had no contact with the outside world. For seventeen days they must have thought they were doomed. Those first seventeen days they have all vowed they will never, ever speak of. What happened in those days? Strange things happen in the dark. I hope one day the truth will come out for is not the actions and thoughts of man, unfettered by the constraints of society, the truest actions of all mankind?
Going underground can be a cathartic experience. Removed from outside influences it enables you to rely on yourself and not be swayed by public opinion. It means you have to be original in your thinking as there is no other knowledge for you to draw on. Diverse evolution relies on Islands. Small protected areas where things develop according to their own rules and needs. If there where no islands we would all look and think the same, there would be none of the millions of variety of creatures we see around us every day. The internet and all the means of communication at our disposal has effectively destroyed any creative islands, we cannot fail but be influenced by the millions of people shouting loudly their thoughts online every day. And woe befall us should we dare put our heads above the parapet and say what we think, we should surely be shot down in a barrage of both abuse and love. Love can be just as damning as hate, it’s influence we have seen in those whose obsequiousness soon outweighs their talent. Do what you want to do and ignore those who would criticise you too harshly or praise you too fully.
We have to create our own islands. Shut out the lights, unplug the phone, descend into darkness or we shall all end up the same.
*** swan murder ***
out of the corner of my eye I could see two adult sized swans come out of the water behind Beat Stevie. I have a healthy respect for swans ever since as a child I was told a swan could easily kill you. i was laughed at (It’s always the harmless looking animals that kill the most people -hippos for instance kill millions of backpackers every year) I explained to our arrogant camera operator that swans have wings that are powerful enough to support their body weight IN AIR. They have enough strength in their arms to flap so that they can fly. If we could do that we would be demonstrably better in hand to hand combat. They only have to flap their wings and your arm would be broken. Beat stevie replied that NO ONE, not man or animal, would survive him swinging a camera on a tripod at them. the two swans came out of the water and one of them lay on the back of the other. There was quite a bit of neck knocking too. Head slapping type of stuff. All looked very sexy to us. We watched as two of the queen’s most protected specimens pecked and slapped their way into a bush. it was a marvel to see this display of natural selection unfolding in front of us. I carried on mouthing the words to the song in front of the giant mirror in Hyde park. When we finished we jumped back over the restricted fence to the public area of the park. Mayhem greeted us with a different look on his face. It seemed the lesser of the swan had actually been dragged off to the bush to be beaten to death. Mr Mayhem had watched the whole thing as if it was a special moment between consenting cob and pen. He’d even given them a moment of privacy when their apprently passionate petting was peaking
There lay in the bush one of the most magnificent creatures under gods creation. murdered. And we had done nothing. Nature all of a sudden felt very close as we turned towards starbucks.
I am expecting to be questioned by the royals
